Between Halloweens

"It's not the girl who we let tear through our core
It's the tear there before that made this girl into more

Skin white sheets
The dawn's printless snow
Nothing to define the difference
Just lit lips under a flame of curls
Many a prince has since us blown dark

But it's not the girl who we let tear through our core
It's the tear there before that made this girl into more
It's not the girl who we let tear through our core
It's the tear there before that made this girl into more

We'll make mistakes in the wake of mistakes
But not wake again to this one
When looks fade we'll still reflect in verse
She'll dissolve to apparition
Slight from stark
Once light, now blown dark

But it's not the girl who we let tear through our core
It's the tear there before that made this girl into more
It's not the girl who we let tear through our core
It's the tear there before that made this girl into more

She don't deserve love
She'll get what she's deserving of
We don't deserve love
We'll get what we're deserving of
I don't deserve love
You'll get what you're deserving of
We all get what we're deserving of

But it's not the girl who we let tear through our core
It's the tear there before that made this girl into more
It's not the girl who we let tear through our core
It's the tear there before that made this girl into more

I was a duke last Halloween
This year, gonna be James Dean
Just wish I knew who we are in between"

- The Matches

I don't know why but this song keeps coming to my mind. I guess it is not specifically the line "It's not the girl who we let tear through our core.
It's the tear there before that made this girl into more." but is has so much truth to every situation. Like what has been happening lately... there are always outside forces at work and the existing damage that made the current problem worse can not be over looked. Does that make sense at all? It does to me but I hope I am getting my point across clearly.

I am gonna start this new things and be mature and tell people actually how I feel. I am OK so don't worry and freak out on me. Haha Knowing y'all you'll be watching me very carefully for a while. I have been stressing about everything. I am terrified about moving in all honesty... I need to do it and I will be I have yet to reach deep down and fight the paralyzing fear with my "This is gonna be one heck of an adventure spirit!" I will find it... so don't worry. I just have to go through my process and I will be that "happy go lucky Emily again" :) I love you all! Don't worry... seriously. Haha yeah this blog is more of the workings of the deep dark corners of my soul ;) Yes I know I am a drama queen. Thank you for reading and caring.

Please stay tuned for the new adventures beginning in the next few weeks. Oh and If you have any feelings about my music selection (what I am missing or what there should be more of) let me know. I am feeling like it needs to be updated but would appreciate the input!

Merry Christmas :)

I love you all soooooo freakin' much! <3,

- M

Dear Mr. Crapo,

I know that y'all laughed about this the other night but I was being completely serious so here is my "Dear John" letter... not really ;) Of course things online are not private... I knew that but understand the repercussions now, better than ever. Was it not enough to tell a person to their face that I liked them? Apparently not. But don't get me wrong, I am very grateful to have another devoted reader ;)



This semester has been one of the hardest for me... yes this one out ranks the one where I was in the hospital and my first one in College. Well maybe it was not that bad but it is definitely up there! My last semester at West Valley started as anything but that. It was to be my second to last and after I graduated in the spring I would transfer to Stanford or UC Davis. Long story short, I got accepted into Brighman Young University for the winter '09 semester. Everything in my world had turned upside down. I had finally begun to feel comfortably in my ward and just started to make friends and now I was going to have to move. What do I do? It would have been safe and easy to close off at all other people and protect myself. Oh it is always about me... I am afraid to get hurt but I was leaving this time. I am not being left finally but I was doing the leaving. In all arguments presented to my planned my fun filled flings and escapade... after all I am leaving and can as much fun as I want to. This would sound like a good plan, in fact it does sound like a good plan but I know how it feels to be left.



I said long story short, right? Well I guess I shall cut to the chase. This semester turned out to be one of the best ones of my life. I have learned so much in these past 16 weeks that I wouldn't trade for anything. I've learned about love, loyalty, courage and determination. The friends I have made have taught me that I was missing out on the amazing people and things around me. With their encouragement and companionship, I stepped outside of my known world and discovered so much more. I cannot thank all of you enough! I love you and I will miss you more than anything else here. My only wish would be to have more time with you or to be able to redo what time has passed and to not waste a second of it again.

I wish I had better timing.

I hate how I seem to have the worst timing in the world for everything. Good things happen too late and bad things happen whenever I am unprepared. Grrrr It totally bugs me how I finally click with someone and it is all over! They leave me or I have to leave them. Why? Yes I dare to ask the question "why?" but in all seriousness... Why? Don't I deserve to be happy and to make other people feel that way too? Maybe I am doomed. I know that this must sound rather pessimistic but I am just trying to prepare for what may happen in the next few weeks. I just got home from being out and I had the best time I can ever remember. I am so happy that I cannot even believe it. Then this would be why I ask and ponder... and fear. I know it will end. It has to end. I am leaving and he is staying here. Nothing more can come of this right now and trying to make things work over distance is ridiculous and irresponsible... I have already learned that lesson. So in spite of my heinous timing, or rather that of the world's, I will enjoy what little time I have left here with those amazing people around me rather than writing about it. haha So I am off to fight another day!

Batgirl goes to Berkeley... On Halloween?!

Halloween was always one of my favorite holidays as a child. How could it not be? Christmas was of course the number one holiday seeing as how it brought with it tons of amazing presents but Halloween was second. Free candy everywhere has a huge impact on a child. Along with the candy came the dressing up. I just loved the concept of a worldwide (or so I thought) dress up party. Plus it was the only day that I was allowed to wear crazy makeup outside and to school. Overall, it was pretty much the most exciting day of the school year.

Since the carefree days of elementary school have passed me by I have discovered that Halloween is not as easy as I once had thought. Back then, I would express what I wished to be and I knew that whether it was what I wanted to be or not… I would always have a costume and be absolutely adorable. Since high school I have discovered that the costume creation is not easy or fun. The older I get the less clothing costumes seem to consist of and I find myself in a store with lingerie and some sort of animal ears being called a costume. Since when was Halloween a Victoria’s Secret sponsored holiday? Things seemed to get less cool and more embarrassing as I went through high school. Dressing up was impossible and I got out of the habit because it took too much energy and courage to find a costume… or in my case make one… and to feel confident in it. I really missed the ability to wear inappropriate amounts of makeup that that day only allowed.



The last two Halloweens I was dealing with bigger issues than “what to wear?” I have gained a my confidence back and have learned not to care what other people think… if I wanna have fun, no one is going to stop me. I was invited to many parties this year and I decided that I was going to go no matter what. Plus it would be my last Californian Halloween for a while and I wanted it to be the best Halloween ever. The only problem was that I had to find a costume. Again I find myself back on the aisles of costumes that are either completely unattractive or cover nothing… haha so they were all unattractive! I was on my Aunt Wendy’s blog reading and thought of my cousin Grey, who is the biggest little Batman fan ever. This got me thinking and caused me to want to put in and watch Batman Begins. As I watched, I heard my favorite line… “Why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” It reminded me why Batman is my favorite superhero. It is not because he was bitten by a spider or was born with super abilities and had to be a hero… He chose to be one. He took the horrible things in his life and turned them into good deeds. Yes he may be motivated by revenge just a little bit but, he chose to be amazing none the less. How amazing is that? If I could be one person I would be Batman… I think we all could use a little Batman in our lives to help us stand up for what is right and true. So back to the point, I decided that I was going to be Batgirl. I am not yet ready to be Batwoman… I’m kind of still in training to be on my own completely and stand up against the world alone. I proceeded to make my costume for the Rodeo Club Halloween party and the Berkeley party. I felt confident because I loved who I was and I was fully clothed. I was surprised that I wasn’t as self conscious as I thought I’d be wearing black spandex pants in public.

I looked really good and everyone loved my costume :) I went to the Rodeo Club on Thursday night, which was fun but was not as half as fun as Berkeley was. Oh my goodness! Now I know why they only throw a party once a year. They decorated the institute building to the nines with Halloween stuff and had a haunted house on the third floor that was the theme of a creepy carnival… and it was creepy! I hate clowns! The DJ was amazing and we partied and danced the night away. I seemed to be very popular… guys would call for Batwoman to come over to them every time I entered a room. I thought they meant someone else at first until I realized that I was the only Bat_____ there… not even my Batman or Robin. There were tons of “Heath Ledger style” Jokers… I am guessing that it was the post popular costume this year. Along with the calling out to me came the picture taking. I felt like Mickey Mouse at Disneyland. Everyone was grabbing me and pulling me into random pictures with them. It made everyone laugh to think that there are now hundreds of pictures of me in my Batgirl costume with random guys floating about Facebook and Myspace. I danced the rest of the night away until the Police shut down. Apparently our party was “too loud.” Come on! You are shutting down a Mormon party? Seriously? Whatever, it was only about 10 minutes early by the time they talked to the Activities Committee Chairman and the news got to the DJ. We departed peacefully… and quietly… after the music got turned down and they ruined the night by ending with a slow song and all of the guys stood against the wall staring at us and refusing to ask us to dance… Seriously, that is why you can get married! All in all it was fantastic!



After, we headed down to a restaurant for some food where we got to experience the Berkeley locals at their finest. Truly I now believe that it is not the students that are crazy but the permanent residents. I honestly saw people for the first time who don’t save at all and have dread locks… ewww can someone else please bring me my food? And here in San Jose you see signs for the Presidential Candidates and Prop 8 everywhere… there you see ones for Measure K to legalize prostitution and signs for legalization of marijuana and to save parks and trees... Are those your biggest concerns? … I digress. After replenishing all of those lost calories, Tiffany and I then went down Greek row to finish our partying off at her boyfriend’s house but sadly, they were shut down soon after us. We headed for home about 2:30 am and made a little stop at Krispie Kreme along the way… Hey! We had to keep our blood sugar up so that we didn’t pass out and die in on the drive home. I finally reached home at 4 am promptly passed out. I guess the point I am trying to make is that Halloween was awesome. It will be my last one in California for a while and it was the best I have ever had :)

Special thanks to the Hofheins boys: Without you guys… I might still be trying to figure out a costume ;)

The Bottom of the Hill

My body aches as if I am the victim of a horrible case of the flu but, alas, I am not. I ache with the joy and delight of the memories of last night. I saw the most amazing thing last night… The Matches! Oh yes… I said it, The Matches. They played at The Bottom of the Hill in San Francisco last night and were so incredible. OK, let’s be fair… INCREDIBLE doesn’t even begin to describe it. The club was fun and the crowd was killer… lol literally. Kelly really wasn’t lying when she said it would be the best live show I would ever see and they are! A lot of bands and groups have great albums and suck in person. Don’t get me wrong… their energy and performance may be great but their vocals and music lack. It is like they are over processed in the studio to make them sound good. Then there are the other groups who put on a great show but their records are weak. Neither is the case with The Matches. Their albums are flawless with amazing dynamics and they are just as great live. They keep up the same HIGH ENERGY level the whole show. Plus they really love their fans. That is another great thing about local bands is that they love their fans. If you ever get the chance to see one of their shows GO!!! You won’t regret it. I promise :)

The Status and Valencia played before them and were really good. I do have to admit that I did like The Status more… partially due to the fact that male bands where the lead singer only sings make me want to say “Hey you… Learn to do something useful with your hands!” lol just kidding… The singing and playing for Rock stars is just so much hotter. And my second partial reason is that the band was just overall more attractive. The Bottom of the Hill was pretty sweet as well. It was amazing to be right at the bands’ feet and to get to talk and mingle with them afterwards… and even to get pictures with them ;)

My ears are still ringing and my neck kills from jumping around in that mob of people. Haha Sooo much fun! Being under 21, I was subject to the mark of the drink less… a huge X on the back of both hands in black permanent ink. I kinda like it… haha It is proof that one can have fun on a school night. I almost don’t want it to come off but it is fading slowly to purple and will soon be gone.

I got home pretty early last night, around 11:30pm, cause we didn’t want to stay to see the actual headliner – Bayside but didn’t even head to bed 'til 1 am ‘cause I was putting up Analisa’s picture with Shawn Harris <3 I was still so wired that I barely slept. My ears were ringing and I had all of the songs running through my head. I set my stereo to wake me up to the CD I got that night and at 5:30am, when it began to play, I was still partially awake so I began to sing along. Little did I know, I was still pretty much def and was singing at the top of my lungs. Ah everyone was so happy to get woken up by me… not.

I guess the point I am trying to make is that I have been unusually happy about everything… even optimistic. I have been struggling with so many questions lately... What I should do? Where should I go? Am I making the right choices? Does he still want me? Will he still want me? Where is my life going? Thankfully I got most of my answers on Sunday. It reminded me of who I am and who I am becoming. I feel sure –calm and peaceful. The anxiety I had is almost gone. I can see the big picture and I love it. I know that I will get there if I do what is asked of my now. All I have to go to press forward and remain faithful. Everything will work out… maybe not the exact way I think it will but it all will. I feel like I’m at the bottom of the hill looking up. (Haha get it? Never mind)

So bring it on because I can handle it. I am amazing and beautiful and strong! I am not going to forget who I am again.

I should've said no

My mind is racing with thoughts that I need to make sense of and can't seem to get into order.

I start things thinking that I can finish them; thinking I can let go, walk away, run away... forget. Despite what I think I am capable of, I have never done it.

Things always start so simply, happily but eventually there comes an end and one my move on. It is seems that it would be easier to let go when you know there is a deadline... even when you know the exact deadline.

I wrote a few goals to help me get through the rest of this year and there is only one that seems important anymore. I can't even form the words. All that comes to my mind is a few things I need to do.

I need to let go of the past and the future and focus on the present.
I need to stop worrying, waiting, wishing... just to stop.
I need to listen to people when they tell me not to trust them.
I need to not want for things that are beneath me.
I need to believe what Ben says and
I need to get over those people who don't see me, even when I am right in front of them.

Prayer

I am speaking in Sacrament meeting tomorrow... well today and thought I would post my talk. It is about prayer and communication with the Lord. I am not really into the whole preach from the scriptures thing or read a talk straight from the Ensign. I hate feeling like I am telling people what they should be doing... I'm nowhere near perfect. So here are my personal experiences with the subject. It is a bit messy cause I'm not reading it directly... you get the picture. ( I hope it makes sense) I love you all!

This past week as I was thinking about my talk, I got to discuss the subject of prayer and communication with my best friend Betsy as I unloaded my "issues." As I began to unload about how stressed I was about this week and I am so not qualified to talk about communicating with God and prayer and such things… She gave me this funny look and said "Come on! You’re always talking about prayer and how awesome it is and communication skills and the stuff in your classes." It made me think about all of the things we had ever talked about concerning the prayer and how amazingly universal and important it is no matter who you are.

Elder L. Tom Perry said, “Prayer is the primary means of communication between God and man. Prayer is an important part of practically every religion, whether it be Christian or otherwise.”

My first semester at West Valley, I took a course in relationship communication and counseling. Our semester long project was to apply those skills that we learned each week to different relationships in our lives for practice. We also had to choose one relationship with a family member which we would write our final paper about. I chose to work on my Dad. As the semester progressed, I noticed how much our relationship had changed and improved so quickly. The class changed my life in ways that I never expected it to. I began to look at the world around me in a completely different way than I had before. So many problems could be worked through and even avoided with the correct use of the most basic skills.

Like all other relationships, our relationship with our Heavenly Father requires work and communication.

Elder Bednar said “I long have been impressed with the truth that meaningful prayer requires both holy communication and consecrated work. Blessings require some effort on our part before we can obtain them, and prayer, as “a form of work … is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.” We press forward and persevere in the consecrated work of prayer, after we say “amen,” by acting upon the things we have expressed to Heavenly Father.”

I know sometimes I am guilty of the answering machine approach to prayer. I get out what I need to say and then, balls in his court. I’ve done what I’ve got to do… I asked so I’m good. But it doesn't work that way. Yes I have to ask but action is required.

Elder Perry also reminds us that “When we pray to the Lord, we should remember who we are addressing and be prepared to give Him our undivided attention as we humbly supplicate before Him.”

I sometimes have trouble focusing during prayers. I find my mind wandering and used to really fight and struggle with this.

I was participating in Temple Pageant the summer after I graduated from high school and on one of the Saturdays as I was going up to Oakland with my dad, mom and friend Megan, we were in a really bad accident. I was in and out of the hospital for a long time and had quite a few surgeries and was not doing too well at all. My relationships with my family were being tested but especially my relationship with my Heavenly Father as I hardened my heart in pain and anger.

My sleep schedule got really messed up due to being in the hospital and medication and other things so that I would sleep most of the day and be awake all night. I got really lonely pretty quickly and began to turn to my Heavenly Father in my loneliness during the night. The world was still around me and for hours, I would speak with my Father in Heaven and allow my mind to wander freely as I thought about those questions that I needed answered. I also began to learn to ask the right questions to get the right answers. It is a common habit of mine to work out my problems by thinking out loud. I had also done this with friends but had never done it in prayer. As I began to be more honest with my Heavenly Father, I felt peace and hope. He already knew my heart and pain but I had to come to him… I had to ask and be willing to act. It may sound weird that I am most grateful for the worst experience of my life because it’s true and I cannot deny it. Through this experience I gained a true testimony of prayer and I know that the spirit guides and directs me through it. As I allow this “wandering” in my prayers, my mind and spirit work through my trials and I gain clarity. I receive answers but most of all comfort and faith to endure all that is put before me.

Elder Perry continues, “It is so satisfying to know that God is mindful of us and ready to respond when we place our trust in Him. There is no place for fear among men and women who place their trust in the Almighty, who do not hesitate to humble themselves in seeking divine guidance through prayer. Though difficulties may arise and reverses may come, in our prayers we can find reassurance as the Lord speaks peace to our souls.”

I know that prayer is an amazing gift from our Heavenly Father. How blessed are we to be able to ask and receive answers to the questions of our hearts; to receive guidance, comfort and direction. I know that our Father in Heaven loves each and everyone one of his children. He knows our hearts and is waiting for us to come unto him. I challenge you to strengthen your relationship with your Heavenly Father and to partake of the blessing that he has in store for you. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

My Favorite People in the WHOLE World...

A few weeks ago I was sitting on the study floor of the student union building doing my chemistry home work while waiting for Betsy to get her butt to school. A woman approached and began to comment on how hard it looked like I was studying. She then asked me if I was studying and what it was. I thought, "Of course I am studying... I don't just sit at this table in this dead silent room where food is forbidden just for kicks." But not being the type of person that could say this to someone, I replied. "Yes. Chemistry." She gave a slight nod, an 'oh' and then promptly left the room. Happy to get back to work but still slightly bugged by the interaction, I sent Betsy a text expressing my love for people that feel the need ask others if they are studying when THEY CLEARLY ARE! Come on... does it matter if I am or am not? Why do you care? Anyway, the lady comes back not 20 minutes later and continues to ask what is my major. I say "physiology" shortly and she responds with something about how sorry she is that I have picked that as my major and who would enjoy taking so many science classes... OK! That's it! I received Betsy's reply about how much she loves me (we share the same hatred for stupid people) and I used it as my exit. That was it... I was gonna lose it. What kind of person bothers someone who is clearly studying and doesn't want to be disturbed and then insults them?!

If it wasn't for Betsy making me feel like less of a jerk for my constant internal monologues that tend to be a little rude and for agreeing with me... I wouldn't have been inspired to compile a list of all my favorite people....

People who...

1. ask people who are clearly studying if they are studying
2. listen to their ipods so loud that even other people with their headphones on can hear it
3. come up behind you and close your browsers... And think it's funny!
4. find public places the perfect time and place to discuss their private lives loudly
5. are easily offended... and get offended on a regular basis
6. (guys) think that every girl is dying to get with them and constantly run their mouths about it
7. blame Professors for their low grades when they in actuality never attend class
8. always put the phrases "You look amazing" and "Have you lost weight?" together
9. touch me! I don't know you... Don't touch me!
10. walk extraordinarily slow and in a manner in which makes it virtually impossible to get around them

Oh I feel so much better. I must be a truly horrible person... I'll work on it next week.

5 minutes...

...is all I pretty much have to do anything of choice. I was just checking my email to see if my friend wrote me back about buying her winter contract (she is leaving on a mission and I just happen to email her about what she would recommend and she offered me hers... Sweet!) Anyway, this led to checking Facebook because it is important to stay connected and my Myspace... same reason... and then to here. Oh how I wish I could sit and write my feelings and the daily doing of late but alas my time is up. Now I must wolf down dinner so I can start my chemistry and math homework. Oh Joy! I would soooooo rather be cleaning my room or doing laundry... cleaning make me happy :) Yes... I know I'm sick- deal with it.

Just Another Day

Tagged

20 Years Ago. . .
1. I was born
2. I was trying to survive 2 older sisters
3. I had just moved to a new house
4. I ate, slept and did nothing else - Oh that was the life!

10 Years Ago...
1. I was in elementary school
2. I killed all of the other kids at Nation Ball
3. I was always first pick for kick ball
4. I got my puppy Kelli

5 Years Ago...
1. I was starting my second year of high school
2. I had braces
3. I hated my glasses
4. It was my first year in a Chamber Choir

3 Years Ago...
1. I landed the lead in a play
2. I had "the life" my senior year in high school
3. I worried about which college to attend
4. My sister Lisa moved out

1 Year Ago...
1. Lisa sold out and got married... hehe
2. I started my second semester at West Valley
3. I was still in Physical Therapy
4. Couldn't run... never thought I'd want to

So far this year I...
1. Have expanded my shoe and accessory collections
2. Got an awesome job at a law firm
3. Applied to BYU... put all of my eggs in one basket there
4. Dated, dumped and gotten dumped - karma sucks

Yesterday I...
1. Watched Step Up
2. Made some money
3. Stayed home on a Friday night mourning my sad life
4. Did chemistry homework

Today I...
1. Continued mourning...
2. Ate
3. Worked
4. Watched Step Up 2

Tomorrow I will...
1. Go to church - Special Stake Conference
2. Finish homework
3. Plan Betsy's Birthday Party
4. Write in my Zoology journal

In the next year I will....
1. Be at a different college
2. See and do something new and exciting
3. Have moved out- period.
4. Have a hot man of my own

To do...

It seems as though anytime I really want something, the universe plots against me and my usually manageable "to do" list begins to over flow with tasks that must be done now. For example, my current goal is to move to Provo in January. This requires finishing my application to BYU and getting in... simple right? Oh no! I have to:

1. get my Institute teacher to fill out his section and send it in
2. interview with my Bishop
3. then interview with my Stake President... (This will be difficult on its own seeing as how he will be released in two weeks and is pretty busy getting ready to be the new Oakland Temple President.)
4. send transcripts
5. finish essay and submit it

Then there are the extra things like:

1. finish scholarship applications
2. financial aid applications
3. driving lessons
4. finding someone suicidal enough to let me practice driving
5. actually getting licence
6. buy car
7. buy my computer... this one needs to get done soonish
8. do laundry... MUST be done sooner than later!

And of course school starts on Tuesday... so I will be having to go to school and actually focus on what I am studying because I am taking all major classes. If I don't get in (knock on wood), I'll have to stay and complete my A.S. at West Valley. WHEN I do... I will have to keep up my GPA cause I will have to resubmit my transcripts at the end of the semester to get credit for what I took. I'll also need it to complete my math and chem courses.

Wow... That is kinda a lot to get done in the next month... well for the first list. I have three months to get the rest done too. Yes, I'll admit that I like lists and be happy I only put up the sane looking list where every item looks simple. The truth is I like to make tasks have multiple steps... it does make me feel really overwhelmed but I feel so good to see that I've done a ton of things. C'mon... If I just put down laundry it would never get crossed off because that little step at the end call "put away" only happen 3 out of 5 times.

My list: Everyone Else's:

1. sort 1. laundry
2. wash darks (cold)
3. wash darks
4. wash whites
5. dry
6. fold
7. put away

See with mine you get to feel like you got 6 out of 7 done... rather than nothing. haha Okay that was way off topic... I'm going to do my laundry and maybe get something crossed off my list.

For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic

I will start with a fair warning: Reading of this Blog may result in a lowered intelligence level and a complete waste of time. Now, with that out of the way, I may begin...

I've never been a writer; I tend to be more of a thinker and monologuer. When it comes to paper, all creativity that was once within me seems to flee and I am left... blank. This may be partially due to the fact that I always read like I'm some emo teenager with a tendency for the over dramatics. I deny this in no way, hence the lack of journals and letter writing, but I believe that it is time to finally get it out in writing and not just in speech.

In all fairness, I really should explain the title of my Blog... I really don't want to... but I will. So there is a very stupid story that Allyson likes to tell about how I slept in really late over Christmas vacation. She wanted to call me "Puncsatony Phil" but that was too long, so she decided that I shall now be known as Phil. My mom interrupts her (I'm thinking that she's coming to my rescue) and states that it she can't call me Phil. (Yes, I love you Mom. I was just getting to like Radar, even though they've be calling me that for the last 5 years now) Mom finishes, "She is a not a Phil. She's a Phyllis!" NOOOOOO! Mom, come on! Seriously?! So now I am known as Phyllis and you know the rest...

I would like to rant some more but today is one of those rare occasions that I've made plans with friends and they haven't cancelled... so I must be off and enjoy what little of the summer is left.

I hope you all enjoy this even a little bit because I surprisingly love it! And maybe y'all will get to know the real me.