I wish I had better timing.

I hate how I seem to have the worst timing in the world for everything. Good things happen too late and bad things happen whenever I am unprepared. Grrrr It totally bugs me how I finally click with someone and it is all over! They leave me or I have to leave them. Why? Yes I dare to ask the question "why?" but in all seriousness... Why? Don't I deserve to be happy and to make other people feel that way too? Maybe I am doomed. I know that this must sound rather pessimistic but I am just trying to prepare for what may happen in the next few weeks. I just got home from being out and I had the best time I can ever remember. I am so happy that I cannot even believe it. Then this would be why I ask and ponder... and fear. I know it will end. It has to end. I am leaving and he is staying here. Nothing more can come of this right now and trying to make things work over distance is ridiculous and irresponsible... I have already learned that lesson. So in spite of my heinous timing, or rather that of the world's, I will enjoy what little time I have left here with those amazing people around me rather than writing about it. haha So I am off to fight another day!